The Dark and the Light at Oxford School, Part Two

So many first grade stories. Hell, I'm 55 years old. How can this be? I mean the stories, not the age.

One of my first memories of Mrs. Helman's class is writing practice. Giant pencils and, like Mr. Cosby says, paper with chunks of wood and lines three feet apart.

"Do not use erasers!" Mrs. Helman would sharply remind us. One day she caught Danny using one. This was the first time I saw any adult other than a parent or a friend's parent yell.

"What do I have to do?" she shrieked, "walk around with a tape recorder on my back that says 'do not use erasers!'?" What a strange thing to say.

Mrs. Helman was trained to be a music teacher, but somehow got switched to first grade. Many years later, as a teacher in another Dearborn school, I would see her again. She was teaching music. Sitting across from her at lunch, I said, "Mrs. Helman, I'm Roger Shouse. You were my first grade teacher!" I said it sort of loudly. She seemed irritated. I was pleased.

My next first grade memory is of the "threatening note" incident. Nancy and I were the smartest kids in the class. She was pretty, blond, and always smiling at me. So, of course, I had to keep bothering her. I sent her a note that read, "Dear Nancy. You'd look good like this."

What was "this?" Well, on numerous cartoons (one Betty Boop cartoon in particular) I'd often see a grave stone with the letters "RIP" on it. I had no idea what RIP meant, but I knew what a grave stone was. That was the "this" - a simply scrawled upside down "U" shaped grave stone with the letters RIP on it. Not to bad for a first grade kid, eh?

Mrs. Helman grabbed the note as I tried to pass it to Nancy. I didn't think much of it at the time, but either later that day or the next day, while swinging on the swings with my buddy David at recess, I saw my mom walking across the blacktop.

"Hey, Mom! What're you doing here?" She waved back, but seemed irritated.

Though I don't even remember the subject coming up again, my mom now claims that Mrs. Helman had called her in for a conference over this note. My mom says she thought it was so silly at the time. Eleven years later, after Congress passed the open records law for schools, my high school counselor showed me my "secret file." In addition to lots of foolish piccayune crap written by my fourth grade teacher, there was one other item of note -- the Nancy note.

Next time: The Slap.